


the imminence of limerence

by astrocookie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), But Before Season 3??, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), Langst, M/M, Romance, gays in space, idk it doesn't follow canon now that s3 is out, klance, mild language warning, post season 2?, spoiler free
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-11 13:26:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11715294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrocookie/pseuds/astrocookie
Summary: Space did crazy things to people; the universe had driven them all mad. This was merely a side effect of the insanity that they’d been overdosing on lately. Simply an after effect of the Dialian dust and its swoony atmosphere.That's what Keith told himself, anyways. Yet it looked like today was just full of lies.But lies shouldn’t feel so good, Keith thought as he pulled away, absolutely reveling in the look of awakening that painted Lance’s face a deliciously ruddy color. The softest of whimpers escaped him, and it pounded at Keith's heart like a blow becausesomehow they had just kissed and honestly, what the fuck.(Though as far as Lance is concerned? It's not gay if it's on the moon.)





	the imminence of limerence

**Author's Note:**

> has this been done before??
> 
> (honestly i don't even know, but it's time i gave back to this fandom)
> 
> season 3 was the bomb, you guys!! i started writing this before watching s3 so it kinda derails from canon.  
> i'd say it takes place somewhere between s2 and s3?
> 
> sorry. i don't know what i've done.
> 
> (this is mostly spoiler-free? except for what was established from the teasers and trailers)

Dialia was a planet just as mystical as its name.

Located somewhere in the Iaphus Galaxy, it was a stretch of silver plains under the scintillating haze of wispy clouds, complete with an occasional rise of hills and basin of still, glowing waters. It was small; not nearly as large as the other planets they visited, and it hosted no life whatsoever, according to Coran’s sensors. 

They hadn’t been here before, that was for sure. _But Lance couldn’t help but find it familiar._

There was no mission this time; no blaring alarms or screaming innocents that needed saving. But the castle, being as old as it was, needed some rest and an external check that required landing. A job fit for Hunk, Pidge, and Coran. The others, as quoted, were free to do whatever they wanted— _no girls here, Lance, sorry_. 

It was a little disappointing that they only expected Lance to be drooling for female company, no joke, but he could prove them wrong. He could be productive. Because there’s always plenty to do on a desolate planet in the middle of nowhere. 

After being ushered out the sleeping castle ship, Lance wandered across the land, hoping to spot _something_ interesting.

3 vargas later, Lance sat on the Dialian ground trying to make himself a space sandcastle— _productively._

Ultimately deeming _that_ senseless (and honestly, a little absurd), he set out to find the others. Surely fixing up an ancient castle that went hundreds and thousands of decafoebs without servicing wouldn’t take _that_ long? 

Counting a total of 1328 footsteps and 4 skips, Lance was a little sweaty by the time he saw a familiarly broad, yellow back.

“Hunk! _There_ you are.” Lance clapped Hunk on the back. “I’ve been looking all over for you, man.”

Hunk raised a brow. “I’ve been here the entire time, Lance,” he said, gesturing to the mess of cables that spilled from the rear end of the castle ship. Coran and Pidge babbled incoherently about the system upgrades that should have been installed long ago. 

“You must _understand_ , number five, the castle and I have been asleep for the past ten thousand decaphoebs. There is _no way_ we could have upgraded them at the required time.”

“What about for the past phoebs? _You weren’t asleep then!”_

“The castle showed no signs of wear and tear then. We were moving along swimmingly.”

Pidge waved a stray cord angrily. “Swimmingly, _my ass—“_

Coran cocked his head. _“_ What is this…er, ‘ass’?”

Lance swiveled away, facing the yellow paladin. “Huuuuuuuunk, how much longer? I’m _bored_.”

Hunk pouted, apologetic. “Sorry, buddy, this might take a few more vargas.”

“But that’s _so looooooong_ ,” Lance whined. “I’m _boooooored,_ and there’s _no one to save me._ ”

Hunk put a heavy hand on Lance’s shoulder in an attempt to console. “I know, man, I’m sorry. Shiro and Allura are discussing some plans or something. 

“Can’t be bothered with that, honestly, I’d be useless.”

Hunk hummed in agreement. “There’s Keith, but, you know…”

Lance’s brows furrowed, confusion coloring his face. “‘You know’ what?”

Hunk shrugged, wary. “You guys don’t really get along and—“

Lance waved his hand in nonchalance. “Oh, pish-posh. We’re okay. He loves me.”

Disbelief pinched Hunk’s eyebrows. “Are you sure? I mean, constant fighting doesn’t exactly _scream_ a healthy relationship.” He waved his hands to emphasize.

“ _Please_ , we have our moments,” Lance reasoned, looking off to the side in hope of spotting red. “Besides, where _is_ he?”

Hunk raised a shoulder. “Dunno. Wandered off as soon as we got here. Check out the lake-type-thing; maybe he’s there.”

Lance dropped in exhaustion. He just _came back from the lake-type thing_. But Hunk seemed so hopeful and looked so helpful; Lance wasn’t going to deny it outright. “Sure, buddy, I’ll check it out. Thanks.”

“Sure thing, dude. See you in a few.” Hunk sang, turning back to work.

Lance nodded, setting off across the planet. He hadn’t even _thought_ about Keith. Ohohoh, _man_ , this could be fun. Keith liked to get riled up, and Lance _loved_ to rile him up. 

But that…that seemed a little selfish, and kinda mean? Keith honestly wasn’t _that_ bad. They had had their bumps along the road, but everything seemed to settle into quiet support after Shiro disappeared. They were caring, _tender_ even towards each other at times, nudging the other along when required. 

Once Shiro _reappeared_ , however, that connection wasn’t… _severed_ , per se, but it certainly lost its strength. Keith, overjoyed at his brother’s return, forgot about Lance, or at least, it seemed so. And Lance, ever so accustomed to _being_ forgotten, slipped silently away into the shadows.

They didn’t talk, or bicker, or head out for missions together. It all just…stopped? 

If asked, Lance would deny it, but a small part of him desperately craved Keith’s attention, even if it was just to get a taste for it. Everything that was noticed by Keith seemed so important, so essential, and what Lance wouldn’t give to feel that way—just _once_. 

He chuckled to himself, kicking a rock with the scuff of his boot. This was ridiculous. _Crave_ Keith’s attention? He sounded like a schoolgirl with a crush. _Notice me, senpai_. Pfft, nah. He was alright. He was good.

…Was he though? Was he really?

_Yes_ , Lance gritted out, quickening his pace. _He was fine_. 

* * *

Keith liked to think he was used to solitude.

He liked to tell himself that the overwhelming darkness that swallowed him alive when he was alone wasn’t all that bad. He urged himself to believe that 17 years of isolation with no comfort in the oblivion of night had worn him out and that it didn’t affect him anymore.

But Keith knew he was lying to himself. Lies told to console shouldn’t be considered lies, though.

Nightmares were laced with the threat of abandonment, a fear he never seemed to have before this whole saving-the-universe gig. Maybe it was because he was rarely alone these days. He was constantly surrounded by the warmth of company, whether it was Pidge and Hunk’s non-stop chatter or Coran’s infamous anecdotes, Allura’s hair troubles or Lance’s constant jokes. He couldn’t bear to ever lose that.

Surprisingly, Keith didn’t mind it too much. 

He stared at his reflection in the water from where he was sitting on a mound of Dialian dirt. It was a dark cerulean that swirled with a fine, glitter-like powder. _Enigmatic_ , Keith thought, _beautiful_. It was a nice lake, yet still waters seemed too calm to Keith.

Thankfully enough, it wasn’t long before a rock broke the tranquil surface of the water, followed by a shrill yelp, the distinct sound of distress, a crash and a groan in quick succession. 

Keith looked up to see Lance bent awkwardly on the ground a couple meters away. Or whatever the galactic equivalent of meters was. It looked slightly painful, eliciting a wince from Keith as he stood. Lance face seemed to be sucked into the ground, his foot caught in a crater and his butt sticking up in the air for all of creation to stare. 

He turned his head slightly, if only to mumble a weak “found you.”

Keith reached a hand out to Lance, trying all he could to keep his laughter in. Lance took it, pulling himself up and brushing off the dust. Keith stared at their hands, quickly disentangling his fingers. 

“What were you doing?” he asked Lance.

“Trying to find your emo ass,” Lance replied as he brushed the glitter off, winking at Keith. “Score.”

Keith rolled his eyes, scoffing. “ _Why_?”

Lance continued to stroll ahead as if he _didn’t_ just emerge from a huge pit of humiliation, fingers lacing behind his head. “Bored. There isn’t much you can do on a planet like this.”

Keith crossed his hands over his chest, walking forward to keep pace with the blue paladin. “I’m honestly _honored_ that you think I can rescue you from your oppressive boredom,” he mocked, “but you’re outta luck.”

Lance whirled back, brow raised in challenge. “Oh, what’s this? The great Keith Kogane admitting defeat?”

“You’re serious?” Keith deadpanned. “Entertaining you is now a competition, too?"

Lance shrugged. “I’ll take what I can get. Besides, you’ve gotta be doing something to keep busy, too.”

Keith looked away. “I’m fine on my own,” he lied.

Lance bent to sit near the water, mesmerized with the water. “Sure as hell you are. I bet you’ve been brooding all that time.”

Keith scowled, more at the perception than the insult. “I don’t _brood_.”

Lance didn’t look up, just offered a light chuckle. “Yeah, yeah, you ‘ _think_ ’.” He dipped a finger into the water, swishing at the glitter.

“I don’t _brood_ ,” Keith repeated, pouting.

Lance cupped a hand, watching the water gather and swirl. “Nah, man, I see you. You get this faraway look in your eyes, and your eyebrows get all scrunched up in your emo-ness and you pout,” Lance said, looking up at Keith. “Just like that! Oh my god, _look_ at you.”

“ _I_   _don’t brood,_ ” Keith said, petulant if anything. He proceeded to sit down next to Lance, addicted to the way the water moved and clung to Lance’s fingers. 

“Can I ask you something?” Lance inquired, hesitant.

Keith was taken aback but gave him a go-ahead regardless. “Uh, okay…?”

“Do you not like me?” Lance asked, and Keith was choking with the raw sincerity that laced each syllable.

“Wha—“

“Am I…too much? Like, too annoying, or too loud for you?” Lance frowned. “Do you not like me?”

Keith was…what _? Not like him?_ “What’re you talking about? I don’t…what?”

Lance shrugged, dread pulling at his shoulders. “I don’t know, it’s just…you seemed distant; more than usual after Shiro came back. Did I do something?”

Keith shook his head, rather violently. “No, oh god, _no_. I don’t _not like_ you, Lance.”

“That’s tremendously reassuring, thanks.” Lance intoned, but his words seemed bitter. 

“No, oh my god.” Keith hung his head. “Are you _really_ gonna make me spell it out?”

“Go big, or go home, buddy.” 

Keith bristled. “ _Fine_. I…I _like_ you.”

Relief seemed to hit Lance’s form like a tornado, releasing the tension in his back and across his face. But he kept it casual, _of course_. “Gee, man, didn’t know you swung that way, but it’s cool.” Lance grinned at Keith, chuckling. “Wanna…go out some time?”

Heat flared across Keith's face before his brain could even process what just happened. “Wha–I, no—you—I don’t…? Oh my _god_ , _what?_ ”

Lance broke into booming laughter, and for the first time, Keith noticed how the Dialian dust that clung to his hair glimmered in the starlight, forming a serene halo around Lance’s head.

* * *

Fifteen doboshes later, and Lance _still_ hadn’t stopped laughing. Every time he came close to stopping, Keith’s face popped back into his mind and it was Saturday Night Live with Flustered Kogane all over again.

“Oh my _god_ , I was _kidding,_ but your _face_.” Lance rumbled with snickers. “Ohoho, that was _priceless_.”

Keith pouted, feeling his cheeks warm. “I cannot _believe_ you’d do that.”

“I can’t believe that you can’t believe I wouldn’t do that.” Lance challenged, wiping away the tears that had gathered in his eyes, still giggling from before. 

“I can’t believe you made it all emotional just to crack that joke,” Keith said, most definitely _not_ looking disappointed.

Lance immediately sobered. “What? No. I actually meant what I said…about—you know. You actually like me, right? Like maybe not _like like_ but like, _like,_ you know?”

“How many times are you gonna me say it?” Keith scolded. “I said I did, didn’t I?”

“No, I know, I know. I just…you sure? Like for real, Keith?” Lance doubted, searching Keith’s face for any lie. “No take-backsies, okay?”

Keith groaned. “ _Y_ _es_ , Lance, _yes_. Okay?”

Lance offered a quiet okay.

“…Why do you…why do you… _care?_ ” Keith dared to ask.

“Why do I care that my fellow teammates and paladins—that I am spending my indefinite future with and are fully capable of killing me—like me? Are you—are you _actually_ asking me that question?” Lance shot back, leveling Keith with a bemused gaze.

“I—no, I mean…” Keith struggled for the words. “Why do you suddenly care if _I_ like you or not.”

Lance’s face colored at the declaration. “It’s not just _you_ ,” he said weakly.

“Okay, so you asked Hunk, Pidge, Coran, Allura _and_ Shiro the same question? _That_ has got to have been awkward.” Keith analyzed. “ _Really_?”

“…What an asshat.” Lance mumbled.

“Lance, can I ask you something?” Keith ventured, sighing.

Lance hummed an affirmation.

“Why do you—why is validation _so important_ to you?” Keith asked, genuine. “Why do you _have_ to be liked?”

Shaking his head, Lance offered Keith what he hoped would come off as a reassuring smile. “It’s nothing—forget I said anything." 

“Lance,” he said. “It doesn’t sound like nothing. You can—you can talk to me, you know."

Lance curled in at the statement, regretting this conversation immediately. But Keith said he liked Lance, right? Pinch him if he’s wrong but friends like each other; they trust each other, right? Keith could be trusted, too. He was most definitely a friend to Lance. 

Sighing, Lance began, “Sometimes…when you’re surrounded by people who are just _so good_ at what they do and _so good_ at not messing up…it—it feels like shit to be who you are. And every time you see them succeed while you _fail_ , it _hurts_. I mean, at some point, you start asking yourself, _why can’t I do that? why can’t I just not fucking fail for once?”_

“Eventually, that turns into ‘ _you’re no good at this; you’re no good at anything_.’ and it drones on, over and over again, and it just gets so loud and overwhelming and it takes everything you have to drown that out and keep going. But at some point, you give in, and maybe… that’s true. Maybe you _are_ good for nothing. Maybe people just keep you around because they feel better about themselves when you’re on your ass.”

“And, _god_ , I—I _know_ you guys aren’t like that, and I _know_ I’m making this bigger than it needs to be. But, _god_ , I can’t _take it_. You’re fucking _perfect_ at everything _you_ do. Shiro’s a goddamn king. Pidge is three years younger than me and smarter than I’ll _ever_ be and Hunk is just the best.”

“And me? I’m _nothing_. But sometimes…when I hear people tell me that _hey, you’re pretty okay—_ or _hey, you’re good…_ I let myself believe it, just for a little bit. I let them prove me wrong. Even if they say it just for the sake of it.”

It was a staggeringly big burden that Lance carried, and even though he poured it out, the weight still seemed to push down on his shoulders, heavier than ever.

Keith sighed. “Lance…”

Lance straightened, smiling emptily. “No, no, no, _no_. I’m good. It’s all good.” He laughed, but it was hollow and lacked the usual mirth. “Heh…are you…are you gonna tell me that I have a praise kink?"

Keith brows furrowed. “God, Lance, _no_. I didn’t know… I’m so—“

“No, don’t—don’t apologize,” Lance cut in harshly. “Don’t give me that. The last thing I need right now is pity.”

“I’m not pitying you. I just—you’re always so… _happy_. I had no idea.” Keith pleaded, and Lance was unsure of where this gentle nature was originating from.

He gave Keith a lazy smile, bitterly small. “Nah, don’t sweat it. You couldn’t have known.”

Keith’s worry didn’t seem to dissipate. “I _really_ do like you, Lance. I, uh, think you’re pretty cool. Uhh…you’re jokes are funny, sometimes. _E_ _xcept that praise kink one, oh my god_. Let’s see, you shoot a bayard like a fuckin’ pro, you pilot like a badass, Red _loves_ you. You’re like, really nice sometimes…and I don’t…? I don’t get it? Like, how are people just nice without being paid for it… I don’t… _understand_ , but I mean, you manage to do it really well.”

“Hunk loves you, so does Allura, though she won’t say it. Coran thinks you’re practically his son and Shiro thinks you’re really amazing for being so fun about…all this. Pidge looks up to you; you’re like her brother, honestly. I really do like you, Lance, I just can't help but...come off as hostile. I'm sorry, but honestly.”

Keith nodded to signal the end of his spiel, worry still lacing his features.

Lance didn’t know when his eyes started misting over, but he just felt so _happy_. To hear such a thing from _Keith._ It meant so much to Lance. So _goddamn much_. This wasn’t something that would melt away overnight, but when he heard things like this, Lance dared to hope that he may love himself again.

Reaching a hand up to wipe his eyes (it was _dust_ , not _tears goddammit_ ), Lance smiled. “Thanks, Keith. Thank you…so _much_.”

Keith replied with an awkward ‘you’re welcome.’

Looking back across the water, Lance chuckled, _genuinely_ , this time. “This is so gay.” 

Keith smiled, _Keith fucking smiled_ , and Lance’s heart did a minuscule flip. “What do you mean?”

“Man, we’re sitting next to each other in front of a shimmering lake with stars shining and what not while telling each other personal things—“ Lance’s face went slack with realization. “ _But…”_

Keith’s brow puckered. “‘But’… _what_?”

(What happened afterward went _really_ fast, and Lance would _really_ appreciate it if it wasn’t retold.)

Without warning, Lance flung himself into Keith’s personal space, placing one hand in the small area between their legs and the other reaching up to cup Keith’s face. Keith’s eyes went wide with surprise (and terror?). Lance didn’t know, but one minute he was consumed by Keith’s eyes and the next, his lips were on Keith’s and the world was spinning and the stars were blinding and _holy shit, were Keith’s lips always that soft?_

The moment was fleeting, and it was over as soon it happened. It was just supposed to be an innocent little peck, and an innocent little peck it was. But it just seemed to tug at Lance’s insides a _little_ more than expected. 

Keith was rigid with shock, mouth pulled into a tight line. A myriad of questions pooled in his eyes, blown wide from the recently-received whammy. His face, oh god, his _face_ looked so _red, Lance_ did _that._

Ignoring the way his heart did tiny flips, Lance pulled a cheeky grin onto his face. “It’s not gay if it’s on the moon, remember?” He justified, voice raspy.

“We’re not—We aren't  _on_ the moon, you _idiot_!” Keith sputtered, flabbergasted to no end.

Realization hit Lance like a train and he proceeded to turn several shades of _fuck_. _S_ _o_ that’s _why it felt so familiar; it looked like the damn moon._

“Uh…it’s—it’s…” Lance swallowed tightly, trying to back out from the absolute shit-show he’d made out of himself. 

But, before he could come up with a plausible filler, his senses were suddenly flooded by everything Keith was. The Red Paladin boldly draped an arm across Lance’s lap, shuffling closer and angling his head to brush against Lance’s lips with his own once more. 

Lance didn’t stop him.

* * *

Keith most definitely did _not_ just do that. He _didn’t_. _He did not, oh my god_.

But impulsive mistakes were Keith’s thing and it looked like today was just _full_ of lies. 

But lies shouldn’t feel so good, Keith thought as he pulled away, absolutely _reveling_ in the look of awakening that painted Lance’s face a delicious color. The softest of whimpers escaped him, and it pounded at Keith's heart like a blow _because somehow they had just kissed and honestly, what the fuck_.

“How about…” Keith held a finger in quiet contemplation, face steadily reddening. “It’s not gay if it’s in space.”

“You little fucker,” Lance whispered, a hand absently coming to ghost against his lips as he watched Keith retreat. “You just—“

“Don’t say it,” Keith warned, receding to his awkward self. “Don’t you dare say it.”

“You _kissed me._ Holy _shit_ , you just—“ Lance laughed freely, though Keith did not find this funny in the least. 

Keith let his face turn to the side, willing his brain to conjure up unflattering thoughts that would hopefully choke the vessel flooding red into his face. It wasn’t working. ‘It’s not gay if it’s in space’; what the _fuck_.

After what Keith counted to be 6 doboshes, silence settled over them like a heavy weight. Lance continued to stare out at the water that swished gently in front of them, face calm and seemly unperturbed by recent events that had just so recently occurred. Recently. Like, _just now_.

His eyes, however, were a different story altogether. From the corner of his gaze, Keith watched as Lance’s blue eyes swam; a stormy blend of _what happens now?_ and _I should_ not _have done that,_ a startling mix of _why?_ and the slightest hint of _more_. 

Keith chose to ignore it. Space did crazy things to people; the universe had driven them all mad. This was merely a side effect of the insanity that they’d been overdosing on lately. An after effect of the Dialian dust and its swoony atmosphere. 

“Does this…does this count as a…” Keith cleared his throat. “A bonding moment?” he asked, timid.

Lance glanced at Keith and smiled, _so purely_. “Dear, Keith, _buddy_ , it’s only a bonding moment if you cradle me in your arms.”

* * *

Life continued as per norm after that night (Night? Space time is _hard_ ).

Lance continued to throw his affection around like confetti, only this time, that affection was extended to Keith. Or rather, _directed_ at Keith. 

Unwarranted ambushes in the shadows of the corridors, passing kisses, fleeting pecks, lingering gazes—you name it, all followed by a helpless shrug and ‘it’s not gay if it’s in space’. As if that began to explain anything.

But he just _couldn’t_ help it. Lance had finally, _wonderfully_ captured Keith’s attention, and he was going to keep it all to his goddamn self. Whether that meant prancing around with a blazing, neon ‘notice me!’ sign or snatching the Red Paladin for something more… _personal_ , Lance didn’t know, but kisses never hurt anyone. 

Besides, it’s not as if Keith objected.

(Really, he loved the attention.)

 

(And honestly? He kinda loved Lance, too.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> first off, please excuse the terrible characterization and awkward actions, i can't understand people but i try to.  
> second, i meant this to be a kind of gift to my son @lance for his birthday but i'm super late woops :/  
> third, i'm sorry but lance deserves so much kindness and thank god they did justice to him in s3.
> 
> a/n: with the paladin handbook out, months are canonically known as ‘phoebs’ and years are ‘decaphoebs’ in altean!
> 
> please leave kudos, comments or come visit my tumblr (astro-cookie) because i, too, need a butt load of validation!


End file.
